Do you have megalomaniac tendencies? Well, we got the perfect gadget for you. It is the Self-Destruct USB Hub. Every secret hidden headquarters must have one. Should your pain in the rear end, do-gooder nemesis discover your secret lair, destroying your hideout is your only option. Not unless you want your secret stash of Donald Trump memorabilia exposed to the world.
A normal human being might find the Self-Destruct USB Hub slightly amusing for about 5 minutes at most. However, for a megalomaniac, we guarantee that you will have endless hours of mindless fun. This amazing box of fun features not one, not two, but a total of FOUR modes of destruction.
The Self-Destruct USB Hub has the switches numbered accordingly. Labelled as switch #1 is a tiny toggle switch that you can hook up to some minor destruction like a stick or two of dynamite. Next is a bigger toggle switch marked as #2. This should be hooked up to something with more power like C4.
You know that things are getting serious when there is a key switch. This third switch should be reserved for at least a cruise missile. Remember to remove the key and keep in safe place when not in use. Just in case, a spare key is included. Once switches 1 to 3 are turned on, the huge red light on the upper left starts to glow menacingly.
A plastic shield with a symbol of a skull and crossbones covers the huge red button at the center of the Self-Destruct USB Hub. Any megalomaniac worth his salt should connect this button to no less than Global Thermonuclear War. To go all in, just flip back the shield and press the button. Button press is accompanied with electronic explosive sound effect. Please note that sound effect does not indicate actual explosion. It is just an audio indicator that button has been pressed.